R1/2 -- Chris Collins (artc@mastnet.net)

	I've recently reread chapters 1 thru 4 to see if the story was flowing
together smoothly, and I came to realize that Miko gets WAY to emotional.
(CUTE VOICE: You not kidding.) (CHEF'S NOTE: The bitch is a psycho.)  Well,
its not really something I'm going to change; I'm just surprised that I
turned Miko into some kind of emotional metronome--I didn't really intend
to. (CHEF'S NOTE: And I have to edit this crap.) I can always pick a new
editor. (CHEF'S NOTE: *growl* Fine!  I'll do it.)

	Ok, take it away Shampoo!

	(CUTE VOICE: Shie shie! *clapclap* I get to open chapter again.  And this
time I ready.

	*clear throat* Stupid sewing girl desperate to find Ranma--so desperate she
challenge spooky Mousse-type to fight.

	Meanwhile, stupid fanged samurai volunteer help sewing girl, but will he
grow brain stem in time?  Will stupid girl live to regret?

	Spooky Mousse-type meet very dangerous opponent, and he no hold back!  Can
anyone defeat?  Can dear husband?  Stay tuned and find out.)

	Whoa.  Not bad.  You write that yourself?

	(CUTE VOICE: *a bit embarrassed* Kunou write, I edit.)

	(OLD VOICE: Whoa!  You edited something written by Kunou and came up with
THAT? *bows down* I now realize your true greatness, Shampoo.)

	Yeah.  Maybe I should make HER the editor.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: WHAT!?!?!?)

              -----------===================------------
              |       An Iron Dagger Production        |
              -----------===================------------

	"WHAT!?!?!?"  Miko was yet again horrorstricken, but this time she had an
added look of disbelief.  She quickly sat up in bed using all the collective
might she could exert from her aching muscles.  "But we have to go look for
him!"

	"YOU are not going anywhere, and I must stay here to look after you."
Doshin calmly replaced the incense sticks on the table with new ones, then
held out one of his odd-shaped, headache-reducing berries for his daughter
to take.

	"But... but, he could be badly hurt, or even...."  She choked at the second
possibility.

	"I am sure your guardian spirit can take care of himself, wherever he may
be."  Doshin sighed, concluding that Miko was ignoring the berry--or else
she was too shocked to notice it--so he set it on the edge of the table and
turned to leave.

	"But DADDY...."

	He stopped in the middle of the room at his daughter's plea, but did not
turn around, or else she would have seen a tear roll down his cheek.  He
lowered his head a bit and said, "I asked your guardian... Ranma to look
after you and keep you safe, and now here you are, lying in bed, battered
and bruised.  Your guardian spirit has failed, and I don't want him around
you anymore.  You must trust me.  It is for the best."  He continued walking.

	Miko's eyes welled with tears, but rage momentarily overcame sadness and
she shouted, "But Guardian Spirit saved my life!  Doesn't he deserve
SOMETHING for that?!"

	Doshin stopped in the doorway, and for a while it seemed as though he would
say something, but he left without a word (mostly because he was too choked
to say anything).

	Miko then fell back to her bed and tried not to cry.

              -----------===================------------
              |        Writen and Directed by:         |
              |        Christopher Lee Collins         |
              -----------===================------------

	Reikiba sat under a tree, sword resting in his lap, and stared up at the
midnight sky.  The moon had almost reached its fullest and seemed to be
smiling proudly--the samurai could almost imagine it smiling down on him.
The stars twinkled brightly, laughing to the moons thoughtful absorption.

	With a sigh, he thought (CHEF'S NOTE: I've got to cut down on the opium.
The moon is winking at me and the stars are laughing.) about how good and
right it felt to have a purpose once more.  He had left Japan so long ago,
thrown out by his own shogun, and he had wandered for so long in search of a
place to fit in. (OLD VOICE: Does such a place exist?)  And now, upon being
given the task of guarding the cottage from an emperor wannabe, Mr. Lee had
asked him to become Miko's personal bodyguard.  Perhaps his wandering days
were at an end. (NOTE: FORSHADOWING!)

	The samurai smiled back at the moon, then returned to watching the cottage.
He blinked in confusion when he saw the shutters to Miko's room open; a
nude, redheaded girl carrying a cloth bundle climbed out, dropped rather
awkwardly to the ground, then limped around the house and into the night.

	Reikiba rubbed his chin and pondered the strange event, then he looked up
at the moon once more and smiled.  _Yes.  It IS a beautiful night to take a
walk.  What better way to forget all your troubles?_  He shook his head and
chuckled.  _She must very much enjoy how the cool breeze feels against the
skin._

	He suddenly stood up, startled by a thought.  _But it is dangerous tonight!
I must follow Miss Lee and make sure she is safe!_  He rested his bokken on
his shoulder and sprinted after her. 

              -----------===================------------
              |    Based on Characters Created by:     |
              |            Rumiko Takahashi            |
              -----------===================------------

	Miko hopped in place as she pushed her legs into the pair of baggy, black
trousers, one by one; she had to bite her lower lip to keep from crying out
when she finally pulled them up to her waist despite her throbbing hands'
angry protest.  Afterwards, she strutted around like an angry chicken as she
blew on, kissed, and waved her hands about to calm them down.  _Oh!  I wish
Guardian Spirit was here to rub my hands like last time!_  She sighed and
immediately felt better with that thought in mind. (CHEF'S NOTE: Grrr!)

	She quickly glanced at the strange new edition of bamboo poles that were
now spread across the Jusenkyo ponds, then at the recession of decimated
trees carved into the jungle by the unfortunate combination of her guardian
and the stranger's ki blast.  She growled at nothing in particular, then
picked up the needle and thread that were lying on the crumpled
blue-and-green shirt at her feet (the one with all her sewing supplies
stored inside).  She forced herself back to standing, and with a grunt and a
blur of motion, she created a red shirt with golden twists--just like her
guardian's shirt.

	She set the needle down and whimpered as she started pulling the shirt over
her head.  Even though it was oversized, the fabric felt like sandpaper
whenever it brushed against her skin (except that sandpaper hadn't been
invented).  She yelped and danced around a bit more before she could even
find a hole to stick her arm through.

	"Caw caw caw ca cacacaca!"  Miko jumped at the sudden noise, and her knees
buckled at her sudden movement.  She qickly poked her head through the
collar and turned around to see the dark-robed man standing in front of one
of the ponds with his arms crossed.  The crow on his shoulder seemed to
be... laughing--hysterically.

	The dark man smiled.  "Most peculiar.  If that was meant to be a dance of
seduction for my audience, I am afraid that you have proceeded rather
ungracefully."  The crow folded one wing over its stomach and bellowed
loudly, eventually losing its balance and falling to the ground, rolling
with laughter.  "And in all these cases I've ever witnessed, the woman had
been taking her clothing off instead of putting them back on."  The crow got
to its feet and stiffled a few giggles, then cackled loudly, placing one
wing over its face and waving the other in Miko's direction.

              -----------===================------------
              |       Ranma Saotome and Miko Lee       |
              |                  in:                   |
              -----------===================------------

	Miko instictively backed up, her face flushed with fear and embarrassment.
"W... wha... what are you talking about?"

	The crow rolled around a bit more, laughing to the point of tears; however,
after a cold glance from its master, it abruptly stopped and walked off.
The dark man, returning back to the girl before him, rubbed his chin.  "I
see....  My apologies.  Just what are you her for?"

	Before Miko could answer, they heard a rustling of trees.  Miko glanced
over her shoulder to see her father's samurai friend walking toward her.  He
pointed his sword toward the dark man and asked, "Is this man going to cause
trouble for you, Miss Lee?"

	"I was... I mean... he could... but...."  Miko stuttered and watched
Reikiba, shocked that he should show up at such a time.  He walked right by
her to stand in front of the dark man, resting his sword on his shoulder.

	They both spent a few seconds sizing each other up, then the dark man said,
"You know, it is quite impolite to interrupt a private conversation."  He
placed one hand, faintly glowing, on the samurai's head, spun him around,
and suggested, "Why don't you just wander off until we have concluded our
meeting."  He gave Reikiba a gentle push and the samurai wandered away,
rubbing the back of his head and looking slightly dizzy (although that could
have been normal).

	"Now where were we?"  The dark man folded his arms again.

	Miko sneered at him and took a more aggressive posture.  "Well, I guess now
that you're here... I DO have a few things I want from you."

	The dark man glanced toward the area of broken trees.  "And would one of
those THINGS be revenge?"  He turned back to see Miko's brow furrow.  "Tell
me: Do you still possess the wooden idol I saw in your possession earlier?"
Miko frowned, which he could tell was a 'no'.  "A pity."  He grinned and
raised his glowing hands in front of him.

              -----------===================------------
              |             NYANNIICHUAN:              |
              |           Very Tragic Story            |
              |                Part V                  |
              |           "Harem Girl Ranma            |
              |        and the Clueless Samurai"       |
              -----------===================------------

	"Eeeeeep!"  Miko threw herself to the side just as a bolt of energy
unearthed the ground where she had been standing.  She fell hard on her
shoulder but managed to roll to her hands and knees.  She glanced at her old
shirt and the needle lying on top, then at the robed man, who was smiling
and slowly building up another energy bolt, just waiting for her to move.
He was going to play around with her for awhile.

	Miko backed into a crouch, ignoring the burning and crackling of her knees,
and pounched toward her only weapon.  The dark man blasted her in the side
before her feet left the ground, and Miko went tumbling several feet away in
agony.

	The dark man was surprised to see his opponent still able to jump to her
feet and stagger into the jungle, although limping heavily--the blast should
have at least blew her in half. (CHEF'S NOTE: Pity.)  He looked at his hand
curiously, then smiled.  _This will prove to be an interesting match._

	Miko staggered behind the nearest tree before she fell to her knees,
holding her wounded shoulder and clenching her teeth as all of her muscles
started uncomfortably tingling at once.  She rested her back against the
trunk and took a deep breath, then threw herself out of the way when several
long chains wrapped around her tree at various levels.  The chains tightened
and the tree was crushed under the pressure; Miko bolted before she could
get caught in a rain of splinters and logs.

	The dark man walked around the wreckage, but could not find the girl.  "Why
not come out and face me instead of hiding like a frightened child?. (CUTE
VOICE: Maybe she not stupid?) I thought your 'guardian spirit' was teaching
you to fight."  He scanned the area but saw no movement.

	"And how would you know that?"  The dark man sent a ball of light in the
direction of the voice.  !CRASH!  The whole jungle lit up and a tall tree
fell forward, but there was no feminine scream to accompany it as he had hoped.

	"I have very reliable sources."  The dark man looked carefully at the spot
where the tree fell.  He took a step forward and smirked, "Well, you have my
congradulations!  You are lasting much longer than your 'guardian' had."

	"Bastard!" (CHEF'S VOICE: Oooh.  Miko with an attitude.) Miko ran to a
closer tree and the dark man fired at her.  !CRASH!  Two trees fell toward
each other and he heard a sharp !Aaack! which filled him with pride.  She
shouted from some unknown location, "Where have you taken him?!"

	"I don't know what you are talking about."  The dark man sighed, quickly
getting bored with the cat-and-mouse chase, so, knowing the general area she
was in, he waved his arms outward and sent a monsterous blade of ki energy
(about 15 yards wide) into the jungle.  The resulting noise could only be
compared to that of a pair of bulldozers and a wrecking ball tearing down a
house; at least a dozen trees SPLINTERED and bushes, vines, and ferns were
thrown into the air.  To his pleasure, he heard a bloodcurdling scream that
echoed throughout the jungle.  Within seconds, all was quiet.

	He listened carefully as he neared the new site of destruction, but he
could hear nothing; after a while, a few insects started chirping, but it
was otherwise quiet.  He was slightly annoyed when he could still not find
the ellusive girl's body in the wooden remains.  He exited the destruction
and peered into the jungle.  He had to get her to say something so he'd have
an idea on which direction she went.  He said flatly, "I expected your
'guardian spirit' to put up more of a struggle.  But, alas, I was gravely
disappointed, so I left your 'guardian spirit' to die from his wounds."

	"LIAR!"  Suddenly, Miko, aura blazing, dropped from a tree and landed on
the dark-robed man.  They both fell to the ground, the dark man on his back
and Miko on his chest.  The enraged girl shouted, "Liarliarlair...." as she
drove a flurry of punches into the dark man's face ala crude chestnut fist.

	He grabbed Miko by the collar and flung her against a tree, then sent
numerous spiked balls in her direction.  The girl crumpled to the ground,
all the projectiles flying safely over her, and in an incredible feat of
endurance, she managed to crawl behind a bush and out of his field of vision.

	The dark man jumped to his feet and seethed with anger.  He wiped his jaw
and nose and actually drew blood--no one had ever done that before!  He had
to make her pay!  He ran after her, growling and shooting long spikes from
his robe in a random pattern.

	Miko almost blacked out from the pain--no, pain was a slap in the face
compared to what she was feeling.  Her left shoulder felt like lead and she
was almost sure two ribs were broken.  Her hands felt like they were in the
center of a fire, and they were covered with blood--although she had a hunch
that most of it wasn't hers.  She mashed her hands into her armpits and
lumbered as fast as she could back to the ponds, fighting back the urge to
collapse.  She could hear her back, as well as ever joint in her body,
popping with each step.

	She sped up when her old, heaped shirt came into view.  Many long, jagged
chains lept out at her, but none of them seemed to have been fired very
accurately, so she had no real problem staying out of their path.  She
jumped and slid toward her sewing equipment just as the dark-robed man
stepped out of the jungle--quite unhappy.

	He raised his arms and fired a sphere of energy.  At the same time, Miko
reflexively started sewing a large quilt.  The ball of energy collided with
the quilt and backfired.  The dark man jumped into the air just before the
tree he was standing in front of vaporized; the quilt floated to the ground
in tatters and Miko was unharmed (well, no more than she already was).

	She stuffed the old shirt into her own and started to get up, then jumped
back just as her adversary dropped down with some sort of blades on his
feet.  Miko and the dark-robed man were only separated by a few feet now.
He raised his hands together, palms outward (like in executing a
StreetFighter fireball) to deliver a point-blank ki blast to totally
obliterate the pest.

	Tapping all the reserved energy she had left, Miko roared and grabbed at
her adversary's hands with lightning speed, and the dark man's energy
quickly discipated.  When she paused, he realized that both his hands had
been completely encased in a hive of thread.  She roared again, and the next
thing he knew, his feet were bound together as well.

	Miko fell to her knees.  Her head was spinning, her face was dripping with
sweat, and her muscles felt numb--which, in her opinion, wasn't an entirely
bad thing.  She panted hard and tried to speak, but it was useless.  Her
heart felt like it was about to explode.  She gave her opponent a light
shove and he fell over.

	The dark-robed man yelled into the night.  His ki energy wasn't
responding--probably something in the thread--and he needed his hands to use
his weapons.  _How could I be defeated like this?!  And why did it have to
be HER?!_  He hissed through his teeth for several seconds, then muttered,
"You win!"

	Miko, mouth gaping (for need of oxygen), nodded and slipped her needle
somewhere inside her blouse.  Her hand reappeared holding a short dagger.
The dark man stared at it and growled.

	She wearily crawled to his side and cut his bindings before passing out
across his lap.  The dark man was a bit shocked, but then he smiled rather
peacefully (without the sinister overtones).

	He gently took her by the shoulders and pulled her to his chest.  Looking
into her eyes, he said, "I suppose now you will want your reward?"  He
gently kissed her on the lips and her whole body began to shimmer like
starlight.

		

	Doshin sat on a small mat in his room, his legs crossed, arms folded, eyes
lightly closed.  Since he had begun his troubled meditaion, several more
tears had followed the path of the one he had shed outside Miko's room.  His
expression seemed unrealistically devoid of emotion, but his lower lip
ocassionally trembled with sadness to prove his humanity before slipping
back into its trained, placid pattern.

	_How could I make such a decision?_  He had repeated the same question over
and over, and he always followed up with the same set of counterquestions
and unresolved points, successfully leading him nowhere but to his first
question.  _How could I choose between the two most important things in my
life?  Why did I have to be given a choice?

	_I couldn't bear to look at my own daughter when I denied her the right to
see Ranma, her own 'guardian spirit' and possibly greatest friend.  How
could I dishonor such a good and noble man?  He saved Miko's
life--twice--and HONOR demands that I repay him in full!  I cannot just
banish him and his deeds so selfishly.  But what else am I to do?  If I
allow Miko to follow in her guardian's path, I could lose her forever...._

	Doshin snapped out of his meditative trance when he started hearing faint
explosions.  He gasped at what it might mean, especially with HIM walking
around somewhere out there.  His first instinct was to check on his daughter.

	He threw open the door to her room (quietly).  Through the darkness, he
could see that she was fast asleep in her bed, unawakened by the noise.  He
was getting ready to close the door when he noticed that the shutters to her
window were wide open.

	He hurried to Miko's bedside and paled.  He pulled back the covers to
reveal a pile of clothes and a stuffed ball with red string for hair (meant
to be her head).  He stared absently at the poor representation of his
daughter, then at the open window.

		

	Doshin arrived at the site of the battle in a panic, but the two combatants
were gone.  Twilight, who had reached the scene ahead of her master, was
sniffing around the uncanny destruction that had been left behind.

	Many strong trees had been practically leveled and, in a few places, there
were wide craters that had been smoothly dug out by some tremendous force.
Doshin didn't want to think about what may have happened to cause such a
mess, but he knew who was responsible--few individuals possessed the power
to wreak such havok.  He turned this way and that in search of some sign as
to where his midnight-cloaked nemisis could have gone, but couldn't find one
and didn't expect to.

	He also searched in vain for his daughter, having found her dagger embedded
in the ground.  His heart beat faster and he called her name several times
with little result, then clamped his eyes shut in hopelessness.  Things did
not look good.  Perhaps he was going to lose her anyway.  Twilight whimpered
and stared pitifully at her master.

		

	As Ranma started to awaken, he became aware that he was being held in
someone's arms.  He blinked his eyes open and mumbled, "Where am I?"

	"Shhhh."  Akane, in nothing but a sheer nightgown, was sitting up straight,
cradling her fiancee's still sleep-ridden body, holding his head against her
chest and draping an arm across his shoulders.  She smiled warmly down to
him, and all he could focus on was her beautiful face.  "It's alright,
Ranma.  You were just having a bad dream."

	He felt relieved by her voice.  He stared into Akane's cool amber eyes and
nuzzled his head between her breasts; she didn't seem to mind and he felt
comfortable doing it.  Everything seemed as it should have been.  He
breathed, "You never showed up in my dream, and it felt... wrong."

	Akane giggled and patted Ranma on his chest.  She rested her own head on
his and whispered, "That's so sweet.  You're such an angel."  Ranma almost
gasped, then Akane cooed, "I love you."

	Ranma sighed with relief at finally hearing her say that.  He rested a hand
on the side of her face and she rubbed against it.  He turned his head up to
brush his lips against hers, then whispered back, "I love you too."

	Akane took the initiative and threw her lips gently over his; Ranma let her
play with his mouth while he relaxed into the kiss.  He realized that she
was slowly inching her hand from his chest to his stomach and beyond.  He
chuckled out of the side of his mouth, "What're ya doing?"  Akane just
pressed her lips harder.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: Oh, PLEASE!) (CUTE VOICE: Sooooo romantic.  But he with wrong
person.) (OLD VOICE: Well, I donno about you, but I wouldn't mind seein
more.) !SWIPE SWIPE! (OLD VOICE: Ha ha!  Missed me!)